Belonging with the Wolves
by TypicalMochi
Summary: Mira Heights runs into the La Push Pack and is forced to join them. Although she is in the pack she feels as if she does not belong in it. Hopefully, after a bit of romance she'll realize that she can adapt to the wolves.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One:

It had been days since I left. I've been running for days now, living like an _animal_: scrounging, hunting, defending myself.

My life had taken a sharp turn since I, Mira Heights, inherited the inevitable genes that plagued my family's bloodline. Yes, I was, _am¸_ quite the freak; dangerous to all those I love and hate.

In my case, I'm not running away. I'm simply taking an extended vacation, one that will benefit those who cannot live through my moments of outrage.

I reached a cliff with a sheer drop, one that could possibly end my life, yet doing so would be a selfish act from which I could never redeem myself. Scouring around, I looked for a possible way across. There was none. I'd either have find a way down, or go across.

The distance was a good 100 yards, give or take a few feet. Making a decision, I moved back ten yards, and pawed the ground, preparing myself for the flight. Finally, without further hesitation I took off. The shrubs passed me in a blur, and within a quarter of a second I was in the air.

The wind smashed against my muzzle and refreshed the fur on my back as it began to change into tight, silky feathers. My paws, stretched out in front of me, began to shrink back into sleek wings. My whole body began to change, and before I knew it, I was flying towards the other side of the cliff.

Once I'd landed, my hawk's form reverted back into the body of a large wolf. I shook my fur to rid myself of the stiffness that remained from the feel of having feathers. I sniffed the air to make sure I was as safe on this side as I was on the other, and then without a glance back, I took off moving in a southwest direction.

--

After a good thirty more minutes, it was nightfall, and my body could not go another moment without rest. Finally I found a nicely formed rock that was shaped like a shallow cave. In other words, perfect fit. I curled up nicely against it as my thoughts fell into an unconscious reverie.

_They were approaching, all dangerous, and all vicious. For once in a long time, I feared the outcome of the inevitable fight. _

_I spread out my options. I couldn't make a run for it unless I had a good lead, and I couldn't possibly threaten them. But I wouldn't give up either. My pride wouldn't allow me to._

_Making my decision, I crouched down, preparing to attack and defend myself, and growled fiercely…_

Before I knew it I opened my eyes and jerked myself up. I sniffed the air, wolves, and not just any wolves, but a pack of fierce, defensive, male wolves.

Changing my eyes, I used my hawk vision to see through the woods to find where they were. '_Too close__' _I thought consciously in my head. And almost as if they'd heard what I said, they'd looked straight at me and started running towards me.

Adrenaline pumped through my veins as I ran east, away from the pack. These were _not_ normal sized wolves. They were as tall as horses, with bodies that were the size of small cars. I couldn't change. By the time I'd turn into a hawk and take flight, they would've already struck me down. '_Only a wolf can fight a wolf_' I thought consciously again.

Suddenly I felt the presence of more wolves. Soft murmurings filled my ears, no my mind, as the wolves got closer. Changing my eyes again, I looked back, '_three behind me, three in front of me, and two coming up on my right side.'_ Suddenly the vision of the cliff came up into my mind, and I abruptly turned left and fled north, increasing my speed. Then I looked back again, _eight wolves behind me, one is faster than the others. But I can outrun them._

I kept running, pushing my speed to an all time new. '_I'd never run this fast before.'_ I thought trying to keep my panting even, yet failing to do so. Finally, I saw it, the gap. Looking back at the wolves I saw that there was now a larger gap between us, 50 meters.

'_Now!'_ I thought to myself as I jumped across the gap, my head was now that of a hawk, and I could feel my wings catch flight as I soared across, abruptly changing back to a wolf as I landed. I came to a halt, and turned around. The eight wolves appeared out of the woods halting at the edge of the cliff. Before I turned around to leave, I heard a silent "how?" And then all the murmurings stopped. I turned and left. I would have to find another way to get passed them, for now I know, I can outrun them.

Yet the farther I got from the other wolves, I suddenly felt an odd annoyance, almost like I'd wanted to be caught. I'd wanted to fight. The feeling of simply running away aggravated me. Although I would never win such a fight, I felt as if I needed to fight them. The strange needs continued to plague my mind until I curled up against a tall, thick tree, and fell asleep.

_What did my future hold…?_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

"He was fast. We could see his thoughts, and almost feel his adrenaline. It was like we were tied to him, or rather he was tied to us." Jacob explained to the counsel.

The counsel was sitting in Billy's living room, along with Jacob and Sam, the only wolves from the pack, the leader and the second-in-command.

Sam was twenty one years old, and Jacob was eighteen years old. But by the looks of it, it seemed that both the men could've been the same age, both were tall and muscular. They could probably lift a sofa with ease, but that would be true only if they were human. As wolves, Jacob's and Sam's strength were beyond normal comprehension. They could probably shot put a car, and any damage they could receive from that would heal within seconds.

"Wait so the wolf you saw could not hear your thoughts? Are you sure it wasn't an actual wolf?"

"No he wasn't. Even he was just a really big wolf, no wolf can move at his speed. He was faster than us, than Leah even." Sam announced.

"And he somehow got across the gap by the time we reached the edge." Jacob added.

"Hmm. Well then that means he is a candidate to join your pack Sam. See any straggler wolf has a chance to join, however normally you shouldn't be able to hear them until they pledged their loyalty to the leader. Strange that this is not the case with this wolf… is it possible that he is dangerous to the people here?" A counsel member asked.

"Perhaps, he was heading towards our area, and the town." Jacob answered.

"Is that why we're able to pear into his thoughts?" Sam questioned.

"Maybe. Whatever the case may be, you should go find him and deal with him. The wolf could be dangerous, or simply confused and scared. If that is the case, you'll have to force him to be part of your pack." Billy said, addressing Sam.

"Of course, if it is absolutely necessary, I will not fail to do so." Sam declared.

"If force _is_ necessary, then you must do it properly. Sam, your mark on him is sufficient." Another counsel member explained.

"Very well." Sam said. "Then we will look for him in the night, which is probably the time he'll feel the safest, when he's safely hidden in the shadows."

With that Jacob and Sam left to get some rest, then rejoin the pack.

--

Morning arrived far too quickly, yet that didn't stop me from sleeping till mid-afternoon. If it were not for the hunger, I would've submitted myself to further slumber, yet again, the inevitable caught up with me.

I shook out my silver fur and started my hunt.

I scavenged around for a few minutes before I came across two deer, which I effectively killed and devoured. But then I realized, it was dusk, and time for me to make my journey south. Also, I wasn't going to fly over. Even if I could remain a hawk for a long period of time, I still wouldn't. I wanted to face those wolves and win, even though it was unlikely that I would. Nevertheless, something was telling me to go; face my only threat. '_And I will_.'

By the time the woods had turned dark, I was on the other side. This time I listened for howls, and sniffed for a scent.

'_Hmm, I must be clear. Perhaps I have even less to worry about than I presumed.'_ I thought consciously again.

I continued my path southwest stopping every so often to check the area. Running was not needed at the moment, '_it'd only attract attention_,' I presumed. Only, I knew that at the time, I was too much at ease. The wolves had to be around here somewhere.

'_Wait, why am I looking for them? That would be dangerous… but fun.'_

As if I'd wished for that thought to come true, it did. I sensed something, or things moving at a great speed towards me. I turned at turned trying to find a hole in their line, but there was none. They'd come up unexpectedly and swiftly. Within seconds I was surrounded, and this time I would be forced to fight. The whispering in my head had suddenly grew very distracting, yet I didn't have time to bother with them.

A black wolf, the largest of the pack barked at me. Clearly he was the strongest and most likely the leader. I growled back in return, pushing his temper, and it worked. The black wolf growled fiercely, and the russet brown one joined him.

Out of no where a wolf on my left side attacked me, and I rolled him over to throw him off my back. I growled more fiercely this time and jumped on him, aiming for his neck.

Unfortunately, before I knew it, two more wolves had taken me on. They took turns biting at me, and attempting to pull me down. Finally I overtook them and swiped them straight in the muzzle. In pain, they retreated, only to make room for the black wolf.

Fear rose in my mind as I realized that I probably would not survive this match, nevertheless, I would fight. He jumped straight at me, as I jumped up, attempting to counter his strike. Only he was much stronger me, and what I didn't count on was the russet brown wolf coming at me from my unprotected side, taking me down by my neck. I was down and whimpering in pain. The two wolves circled me, and then the black wolf pushed my body down into the ground, and bit my neck hard, this time releasing blood.

I howled out in pain, until everything faded to black.

--


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The moment I opened my eyes, blurred colors fill my sight. It wasn't until I shook my head a little that shapes started appearing. I sat up and realized that I was in some kind of house or cabin. The smell of pancakes made my mouth water with hunger. It'd been days, maybe weeks since I'd eaten human food.

Then I realized, I am a human! I looked down at what I was wearing, a t-shirt with sweats. Even though the t-shirt was form fitting, it was still a little loose on me. The again, I am small for my age and even skinnier after surviving as a wolf for the last month so far.

The rumbling thunder in my stomach cut my thoughts short and compelled me to follow my nose to the pancakes. Once I walked down the flight of stairs I entered the kitchen, where a woman with dark hair and copper skin was being nearly devoured by a tall, muscular tanned man. The couple was so passionate that it was nauseating. It was as if the smell of love overwhelmed the smell of the pancakes, and suddenly my hunger was forgotten.

Then the tall man looked over at me, he was handsome and strong, but I did not need to see the two making out.

"Oh!" The woman exclaimed in surprise, then smiled while facing me full on. The entire left side of her face was marked with three long cuts, a vision I was all too familiar with. "I'm sorry. I hadn't realized you'd woken up." The woman continued. "I'm Emily and this is my fiancé, Sam." The tall man nodded to her, but his expression of happiness had long died from his face. In fact in some way I felt threatened by him, or rather that I was subordinate.

"Well, I'll be going then." Sam said before turning to Emily and whispering something in her ear. Then he strode right past me, and following his departure was a loud thud from the door closing.

"Mm," Emily smiled at me again. "You must be hungry. Please, sit down and eat some pancakes."

"Oh thank you" I replied. As I dug into the pancakes I realized in such a long time I'd forgotten my manners. "Oh I'm sorry. My name is Mira, Mira Heights. And… um, I don't really know how I got here." I said. I had realized, with the hunger in my stomach I had completely forgotten about my fight with the wolves.

"Yes, the boys brought you in last night. They said they found you in the woods… well, they'll explain it better than I will when you meet up with them." Emily said as she started eating as well.

"Oh. Wait what?"

"Don't you remember?" I shook my head. "The pack had found you in the woods. They thought you were a threat or something, so they fought with you." Emily explained. This shocked me. 'Was she a wolf too? How could she have known?'

"Umm, if you don't mind me asking, are you a...?"

"Oh no, I'm not a wolf. Sam is. He imprinted on me last year, and I've known ever since." Emily said.

"Mm" I nodded. "Wait, so he's the one that attacked me last night?"

"I wasn't there, but as I assume so. Sam is the leader of the pack."

So they were definitely wolves, but what else were they? Clearly they weren't werewolves because werewolves do not travel in packs. Is it possible that they're shifters? Like me? I decided to prod more information from Emily. I would need it, if I were to escape.

"So, is that all they do? I mean they change into wolves, but are they like different animals or something?"

"Hmm?" Emily gave a confused look. "No, they just change into wolves when they lose their tempers. Just like you right?"

"Um, yeah I guess." Either she didn't know, or they didn't. Maybe they could only change into wolves. I would have to find out myself later. I smiled as I sipped my orange juice and continued stuffing my face.

--

Later that day, a tall, copper-skinned man named Jared my came by to pick me up and take me to the meeting. Oh, screw all the descriptions. I bet ALL the guys were tall, tanned, and handsome and they all had dark brown to black hair. In fact when I stepped into the circle of tall guys and one girl I was albino and a midget. Even the only girl was at least five foot ten inches, and had an amazing tan. In other words, '_model-esque and so damn hot!'_

I inhaled a deep breath and waited for the meeting to begin. At the moment I was literally at the center of all the attention and I hated it. What was worse was that everyone was giving me confused looks, yet they all remained speechless.

Then, finally the youngest looking guy broke the silence. "So you're the wolf we took down last night huh?"

"Oh shut up Seth, isn't it obvious?" The girl snapped. Then she looked at me and smiled. "Hi, I'm Leah."

"I'm Mira." I said hesitating slightly. Being in the center was awkward, but having to address one person while others listened in was pushing my limits. The only thoughts that came to my mind were to run.

"Wow, who'd have thought that this little one here was the one that made that jump across the gap last night!" A skinnier looking guy exclaimed, also known as Embry.

"Yeah, and she's got an attitude to." Jared announced.

On the way to the meeting, Jared and I conversed a bit, and it all ended in me being sarcastic, as always.

Finally, after what felt like forever to me, Sam and a guy that seemed about as strong as him arrived.

'_Late for their own meeting, wow great first impression.'_

Then everyone looked at me curiously. "Did you say something?" Leah asked suspiciously.

"No…" I said. Everyone shrugged.

"Hey shorty, where're you from?" Sam's friend, Jacob asked. He was clearly second-in-command.

"It's Mira, and funny how think knowing my background comes before knowing my name." I snapped back.

"Man you weren't kidding. Girl's got an attitude." Embry laughed.

"Enough!" Sam growled. '_And _I _have the attitude problem?'_ "I'm sure you have some questions for Mira, but they'll have to wait till later."

"So then, you're new aren't you shorty? I mean at the whole wolf thing." Jacob asked.

"Again, the name's Mira, and yes I've only been a wolf for about a month. But now I have a question for you, why the hell am I here?" I growled.

"You strayed onto _our_ land and _you're_ wondering why you'rehere?" The guy named Paul growled.

"Like Paul said, you came here, and because you have no pack and you don't belong to any tribe, you are now part of ours. And although it'll be a hassle to accommodate you, we'll try our best." Sam stated.

"Why? Why don't you just let me go on my way and leave me alone? That way we can forget we ever ran into each other and live happily ever after!" I cried throwing my hands in the air.

"If it was _that_ easy, you wouldn't be standing here or anywhere today." Paul said. I growled at him. His anger towards me was uncalled for.

"Normally if a stray wolf comes to our lands the rules of the wolves, our nature, states that we fight him, or kill him. However, those wolves aren't supposed to be tuned into our thoughts, and you are." Sam said. I gave a confused look.

"In other words, you were captured on our territory and you are able to tune into our thoughts because you're a female." Jacob announced.

"What kind of bullshit is that?" I screamed. I heard someone scoff behind me, I immediately crouched down and turned around to face him, it was Paul again.

"You're not really a lone wolf, you're just homeless. A lone wolf is only one that can take over the leadership of our pack. But you, you're just a chick." Paul declared in my face.

He pushed it. He had officially pushed me over the edge. My body rumbled as anger overtook me, only before I had even begun turning, I saw that Paul was already a wolf. He growled at me so loudly that his breath had knocked the air out of me and pushed me to the ground. Then I turned to look at Jacob and Sam.

"Tell your _dog_ to phase _back_ and stop pissing me off" I growled furiously.

"Paul, phase back. There's no need to start a fight." Sam ordered. Immediately Paul jumped behind some bushes and moments later walked in with a pair of sweats and an unbuttoned white shirt. I couldn't help but notice how appealing that was. Then Paul smirked at me, almost as if he'd heard my thoughts.

"You have an amazing sense of control." Lead said suspiciously.

"Hah!" Paul barked. "She didn't phase because she was scared" he challenged. Although what he said was true, I couldn't help but feel rage and embarrassment course through my veins. For some reason, I felt weaker and vulnerable when he said that, and I despised such emotions.

"I know… Strange, did everyone one else?" Leah trailed off as everyone nodded with confused looks on their face.

I turned to face Sam and Jacob, "so what if I'm part of your pack? Perhaps if I leave I won't be anymore?"

"It's too late for that. Once you're in, you can't leave. Not to mention, you have my mark on you, which means that no pack you come across will ever take you."

"What mark?" I cried out. Then I suddenly recalled what had happened. Last night I was forced down, and someone bit me.

As I felt the side of my neck, my hand came across an indent that was never there before, and it hurt like crazy when I touched it. '_Where's the mirror when I need one.'_ I asked myself in horror. "No!" I cried stepping back. "Y-you can't! I can't! I will _not _stay here!" I screamed. No one can make me do anything.

I turned around to leave. Right there, Paul, Embry and Quil stood in my way. No matter, I tried to shove past them, but I couldn't. Fury and rage took over me, but I held myself steady. If they wouldn't let me pass through them, I'd go over them. I backed up taking deep breaths. Then I wrapped my arms around myself and kneeled down. The moment I felt my arms lose weight; I jumped up and sprang into the form of a hawk.

I barely skimmed past the hands of those below me before I got away. I thought of how long I had, panic swept over me as I searched my memory to find out my longest moments as a hawk. I think I managed three minutes one time. I flew into the air and found the direction to go Southwest towards the beach, from there I'd follow the trail down towards Oregon, then California.

I swept down towards the trees, and I felt myself getting heavier. Below me I could see my legs growing longer. Then before I even touched the ground I managed to change into a wolf, and I took off.

I was tired, the flight had taken a lot of energy from me.

'_Alright, I can't stop now. I have to keep going.'_

But before I could move any further strange images popped into my head. There were images of me taking off into flight ever so gracefully and beautifully? '_What the heck, since when was I _ever_ graceful?' _Then there were images of kissing Emily and Leah. _What the?_ Before I knew it, I had lived through eight different lives.

My head was spinning. There was so much! So much talking, so many memories, so much pain! Heartbreak and imprints, so much! I howled out madly in pain, but kept moving. I couldn't take it. At the same time I could hear voices.

"_She's on the southwest lane. Leah, try to go around so you can cut her off. Quil, Embry, and Paul, go down the South line. Seth, you're coming with us. Follow her trail."_ The voices came on and off.

Finally, I couldn't take anymore. My splitting headache would make me faint before I got anywhere, so I stopped and phased back into a human. I looked down at the clothes I was wearing. The shirt was scrunched up on my chest, and my sweats were torn slightly at the bottom. I straightened out my clothes as I felt the headache leave me. Then I noticed that one of my shoes was missing. This was the worst change I'd ever made. Unfortunately, before I could look around for my missing shoe I found myself surrounded by a pack of angry men and one curious woman.

--

We were all down at the beach, and the sun had finally gone down. We were all at the bonfire, and I was forced to sit in between Jacob who was shoving food down his throat, and Sam who was shoving his tongue down Emily's throat. Then of course, there was Paul who was sitting across from me.

'_Why didn't they just put me on a leash?'_

"We were considering that." Jacob said laughing. I simply glared at him and looked off to the ocean. After I had changed back, we had realized that not only could I hear the pack's thoughts when I was a wolf, but they could also hear my thoughts when I was a human. Unfortunately, it didn't work the other way around.

The only time I would ever be at peace was when I was a hawk. '_Too bad that doesn't last longer than three minutes,' _I thought bitterly.

"Relax, you'll get used to it sooner or later." Leah said. "Besides, I think we can only hear your thoughts as a human because you're in the pack, but you're not swearing your loyalty."

Made sense to me. Besides, Leah was the _only_ smart one in the pack. Then Paul glared at me. I glared back and picked up my root beer and sipped it.

"So how do you do it? Changing back into your clothes from the form of an animal I mean" Leah asked.

"It was hard at first. You really have to learn to control your changes and concentrate on your clothes. Still, after a while, it's become a habit for me, so now I don't even have to try anymore." I said.

"You have to teach me." Leah demanded.

"You have to teach all of us, so we don't run out of clothes or shoes." Jacob declared.

"So Mira, if you don't mind me asking, who was that guy you were with?" The usually bubbly Seth asked. Suddenly everyone leaned in to pay attention. He was talking about the guy that kept coming to my mind, the one I'd tried so hard to push out of my thoughts. Unfortunately all the memories flooded back into my head, drowning all my other thoughts.

Michael Kim came to my mind. The one man I loved with so much passion. His every touch, every motion towards me made me weak at the knees.

At this thought everyone except for Sam, Leah, and Emily groaned.

"Well you wanted to know!" I rationalized.

"Yeah, but not in details" Seth said shaking his head at most likely the thought of Michael and I passionately kissing.

"So have you ever thought about moving on? You know, since he's gone." Quil asked. "I mean, it's not fair for you to have to stick around waiting for him. You can't do that to yourself" Quil said sympathetically.

If there was anything I noticed about the pack, it was that Seth was the most innocent, pure, and simple minded guy I had ever met, and Quil was the most caring and sympathetic.

"Thanks" the two said happily. I smiled at them; maybe being part of this pack wouldn't be too bad.

"Haha, that's the spirit!" Jacob smiled. "And I'm sure Paul will be nicer _some_day." At that Paul growled.

"Yeah, maybe one day Paul will set aside his gigantic ego, and be nicer." I teased.

"I wouldn't count on it" Seth said truthfully. Paul glared at him, scaring him off to go eat some more hot dogs.

"Why would I be nicer when it's more fun making you angry?" Paul laughed.

"Is that so you won't feel left out at the fact that out of everyone in the pack you're the hardest to contol?" I challenged.

"Just like the fact that out of everyone, you're the weakest." Paul smirked.

I glared at him. I was _not_ weak. I enjoyed danger and I was, am, strong whenever I would face it. In fact that was part of my nature. However, for some reason I feared three wolves: Sam, Jacob, and _Paul_.

I glared at him. If only I could smack that look of triumph right off his face.

"But you can't." Paul laughed again.

The rest of the night was spent laughing and having fun with the pack. Eventually our energy simmered down as we listened to the old tales of the counsel. I met Billy and the rest of the counsel and they seemed fair enough. It'd been a while since I felt like I had a home.

As I laid back on my bed that night I imagined my life with the pack, but it didn't register well. It was like a non-religious child sitting at the dinner table with a family with strong religious beliefs. No matter how much the child looked like them, the child stuck out like a sore thumb. It was just... awkward and uneasy.

No matter how many friends I could make, I had to go back home someday. I had to see my aunt who had taken care of me since my parents died. I mean I knew she had my uncle, a quiet, but loving man who would easily give up everything for my aunt's and my happiness.

Then there was Michael, the gorgeous, strong, and caring man who loved me; the reason I ran away. It had only been a few days after I'd started phasing that I told Michael about my changes, expecting him to understand and stay with me. Although he'd acknowledged my changes, he never quite understood it. He needed time, and I said I'd wait. Still, in the end, it was me who was scared for him. I nearly killed him, and because of this he and I parted.

_Maybe it just wasn't meant to be…_

--

Hey readers! Thanks for reading my fic, your reviews plus my chaotic imagination have motivated me to continue writing, so I will. Oh and, as far as the grammer goes, english is not my first language, so don't be upset for my excessive comma usage because I never really understood it.

Although I'm updating quickly right now, I'm not sure what to expect in the future. Soon classes will start and I haven't even packed to leave yet! Nevertheless, the show/story MUST GO ON! So in other words I'll do my best.

"Aja aja hwaiting!"

Translation: "You can do it, you can do it! Fighting on and on!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next few days were spent training and handling all the voices, which didn't take long for me to master. Sam and Jacob taught me how to fight and defend myself. On the days we didn't train, Leah and I ran together and she was just about as fast as I was. During those times I got to know more about Leah, and she got to know more about me. I didn't pity the girl for losing Sam the way she did. Instead we'd spend time talking about how much guys add trouble to our lives. I knew that until Leah could get over Sam, she'd get over him sooner or later because she really didn't need him. She was strong, and acknowledging this was the first step towards improvement. Even the guys were troubled less by Leah because I'd share her pain, just as she would share mine. Still, even though I somewhat accepted her, I did not accept being part of the pack. I wanted to leave so badly that I'd come up with random escape plans, which all failed miserably. Living under Sam's roof was not the place to be when one wanted to leave.

Later in the afternoons I would go down to the beach, normally to meet Quil and Claire, but this time neither was there.

I looked out to the ocean in front of me. The fog obscured the vision of the small islands that stood about half a mile out into the ocean.

Sometimes I wondered what it was like on those islands. If I could get there, would it be dark, dense, and lonely? Or would it be light, warm, and peaceful.

'How would I feel, were I alone?'

I longed to stand in the water like Jacob, Sam, Paul, and the rest of the wolves did at times, and feel a warm blanket cover my feet. Yet, all I felt was cold, dismal, and distant. Nevertheless, I denied that I felt this way because of my own actions and behavior. I am haunted by such feelings because I do not belong here.

I dismissed my dark thoughts and turned around only to see Paul was sitting on the beach with his legs bent out in front of him while his arms supported his weight behind him. The moment he heard my thoughts he turned to me.

"So, _shorty_ came out to play."

"Oh shut up. I only came by to see Quil and Claire." I said while taking a seat beside him.

Paul smirked, "Claire's mom said it was too cold for her to be out, so Quil's at her place."

"Well then, if it's too cold for the babies, why are you here?" I teased.

"That's exactly why I'm here, _babysitting._" Paul grinned at me, his meaning perfectly clear.

"Ugh! You're so despicable you know that?" I stood up and kicked sand at him. He moved his head to the side, and then grabbed my arm, forcing me to sit down again.

"It's your own fault you know. If you just accepted-"

"Oh yes, it's my fault for wanting to go home." I spoke sarcastically.

"You know what, shut the hell up!" Paul yelled.

"What-?"

"Shut up! You sit here whining about how you can't go anywhere while you don't even try to accept us." I was taken aback by Paul's sudden burst of anger. "Here Sam is, giving you a roof over your head, and letting you train and learn from us."

"I'm not-"

"I'm not finished!" Paul took a deep breath. "It's not like we're keeping you from going home indefinitely. But you can't leave until you've accepted this pack. Whether you like it or not, we're your new family. So get used to it!" Paul yelled getting up and walking off along the edge of the ocean.

Even though I despised myself for admitting it, I had no choice but to acknowledge the fact that Sam was providing me with food, whether I starved myself in front of him or not.

Sam would sit across from me whenever we ate lunch and dinner, and although I said I wasn't hungry, Sam would force me to sit at the dinner table while they ate. Emily of course complained about this saying that he was being too harsh. But he'd just smile and kiss her. It wasn't until later I'd realize that without food in my stomach I would not be able to survive the training Sam and Jacob would put me through. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore so I ate, little, but I ate.

That's when I realized… Without thinking I walked off the beach. I counted forwards and backwards. I looked back to Paul who was more than one hundred yards away now, at this point my thoughts would be very faint, but as I passed Billy's place I stopped thinking all together. Instead I thought about what Emily could be cooking tonight for dinner. Would Sam train me hard tomorrow? Why did Paul seem so upset with that fact that I didn't accept the pack? It's not like it would matter to him really anyway. In fact, to him I bet it would simply be good riddance.

That's when I got to the fork in the road. One way led to Sam's, the other to Forks. The thought barely graced my mind when I heard Paul howl from the beach. Without any further hesitation I made a run for Forks. When I was clear I changed into a hawk and flew a bit till I changed into a wolf and kept running. Wolves could only stay in La Push, those were the rules. I didn't know if it changed since Jacob imprinted on the vampire's child Nessie, but I didn't care. If I could get to Forks, the wolves would have no choice but to search for me as humans.

Towards the edge of La Push, Leah stood there waiting for me, most likely to haul me back to Sam. _Please Leah. You know I care about you, and it's not that I don't care about the others, it's just that I'm not ready to let go of home yet. I just went south to blow off steam. I just need time, please! Leah, please! Please, let me go. I swear to meet with you again!_ I thought desperately.

Leah whimpered. '_I'm going to be in so much trouble for this, but go. __I know how you feel and I know you'd do the same for me__'_ Leah thought.

I nodded in thanks and took off again. Later, just before I turned into a human to fit into the crowd in Forks, I could hear an angry thought, _Leah! How could you?_It was Sam.

_'I had to.'_

Sam groaned and then gave instructions to follow me into Forks. I didn't stick around as a wolf to hear the rest as I turned into a human in jeans, tank-top, and heels. It was Leah's outfit, but she gave it to me because she grew out of the pants in ninth grade. In addition to that, I had to cut them and iron out the seam so they would fit right. I also had to sew on a new button onto the pants because apparently Sam was in a hurry… _ew_ I shivered at the thought.

_'Okay Mira, use your brain. It'll take the guys some time to get a car and then come search for me. But before any of that happens, you have to get out of here' _I thought to myself.

--

I walked forward towards the town only to see that it was practically empty. _This can't be happening_, I thought miserably. It was a Friday afternoon and I saw at most fifteen cars drive by. I walked around looking at supermarkets and other various public buildings. As if the town could not get any quieter.

_Well I'm definitely not in Seattle anymore_.

I came across two of the most major places in the little town of Forks, the hospital and the high school. That's when I realized, it was September first, Labor Day.

_WOW, I couldn't have picked a better day to get away. Now I don't have to worry about making a scene if the pack finds me, because no one will be here to see it!_

Finally I stopped at _the _gas station, the _only_ gas station in Forks, and asked a man there for directions to any local bus station that could take me to Seattle.

"Well, there is no bus here that'll take you to Seattle. You'll have to go to Port Angeles for that."

I looked at him in utter disbelief.

"You can use the Clallam Transit to get to Port Angeles." There's a stop at East Division St and South Forks Ave."

I thanked the man and then took off towards the bus stop. When I reached there I realized I didn't have any money on me. I looked in my pockets and managed to scrounge up three quarters. The fare was 1.50 for students. I looked around on the ground and found three dimes, a nickel, and a food stamp. So, I had exactly 1.50, but I didn't have any money for a greyhound ticket, which would most likely turn up around 75. Still, I had to get out of here.

Unfortunately, I hadn't even waited five minutes before Jacob's project, the Volkswagen Rabbit, pulled up next to me. _Oh. Crap._ Then the driver's side window rolled down only to reveal Jacob Black, and behind him Sam in the front seat.

Then the passenger door opened and I stepped back a bit ready to run. Seth came out and gave me a pleading glance.

"Here's the deal" Jacob started. "If you come quietly we'll pretend this never happened. In fact we were thinking of letting you have a _chaperoned_ visit to Seattle."

"However," Sam spoke up. "If you don't, then you will be under heavy surveillance and confined to the house."

_Not much of a choice is it?_

"Hey, _we're_ trying." Jacob stated.

_As much it sucks to admit it, he was right. But why!? Why do they want to make me stay!? They could easily ignore my thoughts, as I would theirs._ Finally I surrendered and got into the car next to Seth and Quil. _Guess they wouldn't need much force to chase me down_.

"You really don't get it do you?" Jacob spoke up as he started driving again. "We're not your enemies. Whether you are forced to be part of the pack or not you are a part of it."

Then Sam turned slightly around to face me. "Not to mention, what were you thinking? Going into a town where you knew there'd be people. You're young and dangerous. Your emotions are still unstable, and until you learn to control them you can't afford to be around people."

"What about Paul?" I spoke up. "He has as much control as a bull."

"But Paul accepts us. It's a way of life for him. And even though he gets angry, he knows how to control himself in front of humans." Quil said gently.

I looked at Seth and Quil. They were so peaceful but no matter how much they sympathized they could never know how I felt. But the truth was, even I didn't know how I felt. I was always angry to be here, and I was always sad in Seattle.

_Where do I belong…?_ The thought plagued my mind throughout the rest of the silent drive back.

--

I'm trying a little harder to get Mira's thoughts of loneliness out there.

All the descriptions came out of my head while I was listening to Trax's "End of the World," a song I've enjoyed for a while now.  
No worries, I'm not depressed.

Alright, school starts in two weeks and I'm still in the process of packing. Updating will start slowing down soon, but I'll make sure to add at least to chapter six before I start classes. After that, however, do not be upset if I take a break because I won't leave the story on a sudden cliffhanger like some authors I know... :)


	5. Author's Note

A/N

안녕하세요!!

Hello to all my readers! I'm sorry I haven't updated in forever.

I've been going through quite a bit since November, but I promise, I will get the next chapters up soon. Sometimes when we learn the hard way, it strikes inspiration.

I hope you've all been well!

- 모치


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

The fact that it would be so easy to drag me back to La Push had a large impact on my pride. I hated being weak. Not to mention I was always under heavy surveillance, I mean more than before. Whenever I wanted to go somewhere I would have to have a chaperone and I hated it.

I know the fact that I'm even receiving such treatment is partially my fault, but it still sucked! But on top of that I felt extra bad that because of my actions, Leah was not allowed to be left alone with me. There would always be someone within fifteen feet of me just so there wouldn't be any repeats of last week's performance.

*Sighs,* Leah and I were growing apart somewhat because we couldn't talk about things the way we used to because we knew that there would always be _someone_ who could listen into my thoughts other than Leah.

The up side, however, about always being around someone was that I had an easier time learning about the pack. If my hate for being watched so attentively without any privacy did not exist, I would probably be happy for having friends that understood me, at least as much as I understood myself. Nevertheless, since there wasn't an equal return of the services, it wasn't always fun.

_Finally_, Paul had arrived.

"Wow, way to be on time" I rolled my eyes sarcastically.

"No problem, unless of course you'd rather I didn't come at all so you can have some alone time in your room?"

"Hah! Whatever, Jared would have taken me if you hadn't showed up."

"Jared man, I'm sorry I kept you from Kim." Kim was the girl Jared imprinted on. He was madly in love with her.

"Kim's out with the girl's today."

"So are you going go out to find her then?"

"Yeah, she said she'll call me when she's done." Not a moment later and Jared's phone rang.

"See Mira, right on time." Paul smirked.

"Whatever let's just go."

The beach was peaceful as usual and the weather wasn't too bad either. It was slightly windy, but in September that was expected.

"So Paul, what have you been up to?" I asked.

"What? Nothing, I was late because Sam had a meeting."

"And Jared wasn't invited?"

"Come on, you've been a wolf long enough to know that not everyone needs to be there."

This of course was true. The pack shared one mind and therefore had no secrets between each other.

"So?" I retaliated. "That doesn't mean he _can't_ go."

"_Please_. You don't think we'd make it _that_ easy for you to get away did you?" I shrugged off the remark.

"Anyway, the meeting was about you." Paul paused, to judge my reaction, I think. When he saw that my face remained blank he continued his talk. "You have one more year of high school left right?"

"Yes." I answered suspiciously.

"Well, Sam thinks it would be best for you to complete high school."

"And where would I complete it?"

"At Forks High School" Paul finished.

"What does it matter whether I finish high school or not? It's not like I'll ever be able to function in part of society."

"Finishing high school is very important, because even if you are a wolf, you still have human needs, and those needs have to be fulfilled by money. In order to get money, you need to complete high school."

"Ok… and what happens if I don't want to finish high school?" I challenged.

"Oh, you don't have a choice in that matter. However, you don't really want to depend on the pack for the rest of your life do you?"

I thought about this quickly and immediately decided that finishing high school would be highly beneficial. In fact, college was looking really good right now as well.

"Yeah, if you can afford it" Paul snorted.

"What was that?"

"It's getting late. Besides, on the way back to Sam's I have to stop by my place."

"Why?"

"Because." Paul answered before getting up. Then he held his hand out for me to help me get up. I reached out for it, but at the last second he pulled away.

"Ugh" I scoffed at him as he walked away. Again, he was barefoot wearing black jeans and his white unbuttoned shirt. I bit my bottom lip slightly and followed after him.

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By the time we had reached Paul's house the weather had turned and it had started raining. '_The again, it's a wonder the weather's not always bad around him.'_

Paul must've been ignoring my thoughts because he didn't make any sound to my thought.

*BANG*

"Damn it Paul!" I said while rubbing my nose where the door had hit me.

"Oh, my bad" Paul smirked.

'_Oh yeah, that was a complete accident' I rolled my eyes._

"Hey, any _normal_ wolf would've caught the door _before_ it hit them in the face. Besides, take it this as a bit of training advice; always be prepared and never let your guard down."

I snarled at him. He had purposely thrown the door back towards me, but then again…

"You know what Paul, you're right. I will take your advice and give you some back. Next time make sure to get insurance for your property."

Paul looked back on his door which had a dent from where it hit me and scowled, while I grinned widely at his expression.

He then turned around and headed into his home before he'd _accidently _damaged more property because of me.

I looked around Paul's place and saw a small living room and a kitchen across from it. Down the narrow hall I could see two rooms, the one on the right was Paul's, and what must've been the bathroom at the end.

Although the place seemed small and cozy, the atmosphere felt airy and empty, almost lonely.

Paul came out of his room and tossed some kind of black material to me, it was a backpack.

"You'll need that for um… school." Paul said as he watched me rummage through it.

"Um… thanks." I didn't really want to rely on anyone, but for some reason I felt really happy that Paul was… looking out for me.

"It wasn't my idea. Sam was the one thinking of you" Paul scoffed.

"Whatever" I shrugged. "So has Embry been staying here lately?" I knew that Embry didn't stay at home as much since his parents didn't know about him being a werewolf. So sometimes when he had to deal, he'd stay with Paul, who lived alone.

"Yeah he's been here every night for the last week. He's finally staying home tonight though; felt that he shouldn't just leave his parents like that."

I could almost sense the bitterness in his voice when he'd said the word "parents." I wonder how hard it'd been for those like Paul, those who were wolves and had jobs. Both Sam and Paul survived on their own salaries, but now with Emily around, I suppose Sam had some help. Paul, however, never had help. His parents were living in Lake Oswego, Oregon and he'd struck out on his own.

"How do you manage to hear Sam's call when you're at work?"

"It's easier now. All I have to do is listen for your _excessively loud_ thoughts."

I blushed; he'd heard everything I'd just recalled.

"Why don't you just listen to your parents and go to college. Then you wouldn't have such a hard time" I asked.

"What's with all the questions when you _know_ the answer?"

"I just think it's better if sometimes we could just tell each other what we feel, rather than have them know just because they hear your thoughts. Sometimes we need to use words to express ourselves."

Paul sighed exasperatedly. "It'd be harder for me to take care of my responsibilities for the pack if I went away, which is why I dropped out in the first place. Not to mention, I've been here since the ninth grade when _my parents_ sent me away to reduce the 'talk' in society about their 'wild son.' And we're not going to talk about this anymore" Paul ordered as I'd opened my mouth.

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Without any further discussion Paul and I had left for Sam's place in the rain. He didn't have an umbrella at his house so by the time we were half way there Paul and I were already soaked.

I turned around to look at him dragging himself behind me. His black hair was soaked through, and his white shirt was sticking to his tanned skin. I could see his life as it truly was, a chance to have everything in the world, but he'd rather be soaked and be with his friends.

I turned away as he looked up towards me. Paul may have struggles, but at least he knows where he belongs.

"You could belong here too you know, in fact this is probably the only place you can be yourself." Paul said walking up to me and then towering over me.

Paul's eyes had something in them, a glint, shine, or something I hadn't noticed before. Then I looked away again. Staring was rude.

"What? Be myself? Here?" I laughed in amazement at the thought of myself plopping down on Sam and Emily's sofa, watching the next episode of 'Gossip Girl.'

"Paul, as long as I am here, I can _never_ be myself. At least not while I'm surrounded by people that constantly remind me of things I don't want to remember."

I shook my head with a smirk and turned around continuing towards Sam's place. Everyone here, they were all the same; cautious that I might blow up or do something rash and insane like run away. What they didn't understand was that…

'_You can stop listening in on my thoughts you know.'_

But Paul didn't answer. He just kept walking.

'_Maybe there is hope for him after all.'_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Thick black strands of hair tickled my watery eyes mercilessly until I brushed it out of the way. Still, the wind was relentless and continued to push strands of my hair onto my face again. Giving up, I put my hair into a low pony tail that was out of reach to the fast wind that cooled my face.

"We're lucky it's such a nice day" I commented, breaking the silence that stood between me and Paul.

"Could you shut the window, we have air conditioning" Paul said giving me a stern look.

"Hmp" I scoffed as I put the window up.

Paul and I were on our way to Seattle as promised by Sam and the council. Besides, I needed my school records in order to transfer schools, so Sam did not really have a choice.

Jacob, Quil, Seth, and I would be starting school on Wednesday September 24th, three days from now and I was _not_ excited. It would be really hard to change schools before my last year, but I didn't have much of a choice.

"Jacob, Quil, and Seth are changing schools too."

"I guess" I sighed, looking out the window, watching each and every single tree pass by.

"Way to be excited for getting your wish to come true" Paul sneered sarcastically.

"It's not that I'm not excited, I'm just tired."

"Right, whatever, just next time remind me not to take you."

"Don't worry, I will. Life is much more pleasant when you're not in it" I smirked.

"Life was far more pleasant before you arrived" Sam muttered.

Not wanting to argue with him the entire way to Seattle, I sat quietly.

Finally after a couple of hours, the drive was over, and Paul and I were standing outside my aunt's house. Loud thuds could be heard through the house as my aunt approached the front door.

"Mira! Oh my Mira, I'm so glad you finally returned. I was beginning to worry" my aunt screamed as she squeezed me.

"And you, you must be Paul" she said as she stood aside so we could enter the house"

"I made your favorite! Fried rice with kimchi and samosas!" My aunt said pushing food towards me.

"Paul, my aunt Sun-Mi, auntie, this is Paul."

"Pleasure to meet you Ms Heights" Paul said with a genuine smile and a slight nod of his head. This provoked an open-mouthed gasp of shock from me. So Paul knew how to charm others. I looked away from Paul's obvious smirk with annoyance.

After a short while, I left my aunt and Paul in the living room and went upstairs to my room. Everything had remained the same since I'd left. The blinds were closed, keeping the room dark and dismal, the queen-sized bed was still unmade, the closet door was open, my laptop laid on my table next to a pile of papers, my wallet, my cell phone, two bottles of nail polish, and my journal.

I looked at the calendar on the wall, it read June. I'd left a week after school had ended, and now it was May. I walked over to the calendar and changed it to September.

I switched my attention to my black journal which lay under some books. Not wanting to cause a land slide, I lifted the books off, picked up my journal, and placed the books back in their original position. It'd been months since I'd written in that journal, but it'd felt like I'd just made an entry yesterday.

_June 16__th__, 2008_

_I don't know what's happening. I've been having some strange dreams lately. My whole body has been sore, and I'm very temperamental. I yelled at my aunt this morning, and have not talked to her since. I feel absolutely terrible about it and I really want to apologize, but I wouldn't know what to say. I wish she knew that I'm sorry. I wish she knew that I love her. _

_Michael has been distant lately, and it's probably because I've been pushing him away. I got really sick yesterday, and when he came to visit I snapped at him saying I didn't need his pity. I don't even know why I said that. Then I called him today and apologized. So then we talked for another hour. Still, I don't know if Michael and I…_

_June 18__th__, 2008_

_What's wrong with me? I can't think, I can't breathe. Everything hurts. I freaking flew up to a tree today! Flew! As in with wings! Luckily no one saw me. Gosh, I don't know what's happening, and I just want it to end._

_My aunt and I made up like we always do. Even still, things don't feel right. They never felt right. I have had thoughts, but I don't know if they're right._

_I would ask my friends if they knew what was happening with me, but they're probably just as oblivious if not more._

_Gosh, I'm lying! I can't even express myself in my journal. _

_Michael and I broke up today. Well, I broke up with him? Frick, I don't know._

_June 20__th__, 2008_

_This is the last time I'll write in here for a while. I'm leaving tomorrow. I don't belong here. I know I've always been happy… no that's a lie. I never told the truth here because I was always worried that someone would read this. _

_Here's the truth. I love my aunt and she loves me, but she does not make up for my parents, she never did. Still, I'm grateful to have her, because she's been my best friend forever. Auntie, if you ever read this, I'm so sorry, it's not like how it sounds, I do love you with all my heart, but I…_

_Here's another truth. I never liked Michael really. He was just there. He's amazing, and hot, and all that, but…_

_I'm leaving tonight. I'll turn and then start running towards the coast, then down to Cali. If I can't figure out how I feel while I'm here, then I don't know if here is where I should be. I don't know who I am, I don't know where I belong. I don't even know anyone that wants me. My aunt wants me to stop turning. She said she's worried for me. In reality, she's scared _of_ me. _

_I almost killed Michael today. He almost saw me, but I stopped before I revealed myself to him. I wonder if there are others out there like me, or maybe I'm supposed to be alone._

_I hate myself for being this way, but I can't be with people that can't accept what I am, and who I am. And no one can accept who I am until I find that out for myself._

I shut the journal and threw it onto my bed. Reading my strange and confused thoughts made me feel insecure and annoyed. I hadn't changed much since I'd left. I still didn't know who I was. If someone asked me to describe myself, I wouldn't know what to say. What am I? Who am I? I'm an idiot for not knowing even that. I hate myself for being so confused.

"Let's go to your school" Paul said standing outside my door.

"Yeah," I replied still in my daze of thoughts and confusion.

"You okay?"

Finally, I turned to face Paul, grabbed a suitcase and started filling it with clothes. When my bag was full, I grabbed my wallet, cell phone, and laptop off the table.

"Let's go." I gave Paul an unsure smile and walked past him out of my room.

After the farewells were said along with promises to return as soon as possible, Paul and I were on our way to my old school.

We cruised down the roads until we came to a stop at a building with a flag post and glass doors. Finally I noticed the building itself and looked up at the sign which read, "Ballard High School."

The place was recognizable, yet unfamiliar. It'd felt like it was so far away.

'_I didn't go here, I never did.'_

I looked around the old building with brown bricks. The place had a certain gloom to it. Walking closer and closer to it, I felt as if I was trespassing. "No parking" signs stood slanted around the sidewalk. "Beware" was smeared in black on the bike rack near the entrance. The place was cold and cruel. The friendly ambiance I had once thought to have surrounded this school did not exist.

I stood closer to Paul and walked on.

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In the last hour of the drive back home, I felt grateful. I thought back to my journal. Everything in there was a lie except for the last entry. Nothing was as I remembered.

Rain drops poured onto Paul's black Ford SUV, a present from his parents in Lake Oswego, Oregn, where the grass was always green, and the people were always cruising in the bright blue oceans. So why was Paul in La Push, when he should be in Lake Oswego?

I looked to him for an answer, but he didn't say anything, which meant he probably did _not_ want to answer.

"You got what you wanted. So what's with the frown?" Paul finally spoke up.

"If you were asked to describe me, what would you say?"

"Are you sure you really want me to answer that?" Paul said smirking.

"I know that you're the only one that'll tell the truth to my face." I replied. This comment pulled the smirk right off his face. He wasn't expecting such seriousness.

"I'd say you're spoiled, hella annoying, and downright bitchy all the time" Paul said staring at the road.

I looked back at him in slight shock. Was that how he truly felt?

"You didn't ask me about how I felt. You asked me how _I _would describe you" Paul said with a smirk back on his face.

"No! I meant, what kind of personality… oh never mind." I frowned and turned to face the window with my arms crossed.

"I'd say you're spoiled, hella annoying, down-right bitchy" Paul started again.

"Okay, okay, I get it."

"I'm not finished" he said. "And, you're confused, lonely, but fun to mess with."

"Thanks, I think." I said giving him a weird look.

Silence came back with a vengeance as I stared off into space with thoughts.

"Mira" Paul called, breaking the silence.

I turned to face him again, only this time my eyes drooped from exhaustion.

He sighed then pushed my head against the window in exasperation.

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When I woke up, we were in Sam's driveway and Paul was unpacking the SUV. Once he finished he walked around to me and leaned against the door that separated us.

"Finally awake? Did I mention you snore like a baby?" Paul smirked.

I gasped in anger and embarrassment. "I do not snore!" I whispered vehemently.

"Yes you do, and wipe the drool off your cheek. I don't need it staining the seatbelt" Paul said grinning like a bobcat.

"Ugh" I groaned wiping my cheek and getting out of the car.

"Anyway, uh, thanks" I muttered at my feet while trying to walk past Paul. Unfortunately he was blocking the way.

"You're welcome" Paul said chastisingly.

"Yeah, yeah." I tried to walk past him again, only to collide into him.

"Er, do you mind?" I asked making gestures for him to move out of the way.

"You don't belong in Seattle, you never did" Paul said, this time seriously, but in a way kindly as well. It was strange. I looked into Paul's eyes; again, there was a certain glint in them that made me shiver slightly.

"W-well, there's the whole world out there waiting for me. So one down, a billion more to go," I half-joked.

"You keep telling yourself that. But soon you'll find that anywhere you go without a connection to the pack will be incomplete and lonely." Then Paul gave a half-laugh and looked down at me again. "Besides, there has to be some part of you that accepts this place, because if there wasn't, you'd be free from this pack… you're only here because you _belong_ here."

With that Paul allowed me to leave his presence and walk into the house. I stared back at him only to see him drive away.

"_You're just taking slightly longer than I did."_

Paul found where he belonged, with the wolves. I walked straight past Emily and Sam, who were sitting on the couch cuddling with each other, and walked to my room. I dropped my bag on the floor and chuckled slightly.

'_Belonging with the Wolves? Yeah right.'_


End file.
